Many men will ask themselves how do I find a girlfriend at some point in their lives? Loneliness is very common and hard to deal with, especially for men who very often do not have as strong a support network as women who usually feel far more comfortable with sharing their inner thoughts and feelings. Men will very often not know how to admit to feelings of loneliness. This can lead to feelings of desperation and inadequacy which will lead to a downward spiral where many men give up on themselves and just stop trying.
The good news is that this cycle can be broken. Women, especially beautiful women can often seem like an alien species to a man who is not familiar with approaching them. The prospect of approaching an attractive stranger in an attempt to strike up a conversation can be terrifying but it doesn’t need to be.
The first step you should take when attempting to break this cycle is to increase your confidence. This is quite easy to do. One of the best ways to do this is to improve your appearance. There is a reason that beautiful women usually take an interest in fashion. If you look good you feel good and they know this. I was 22 before I met my first girlfriend and my Dad provided me with some very simple but useful advice. If you look clean and smell good, someone will love you. This is very true.
If you are not sure about how to improve your appearance don’t be afraid to ask for help. In a clothes shop you can approach a sale assistant and tell them you are looking for a new image and would like some help choosing clothes. This will serve the dual purpose of helping you to learn to talk to strangers. Also ask for the advice of a barber who is roughly the same age as you. Their business is male hairstyles so they know what they are doing. A good barber will know hair fashions and what will suit your face and type of hair best. It is important to be open to change, you need to recognize what you have been doing so far has not been working and learn to try new things to achieve success.
With a new image you will feel more confident with approaching women. The key thing to remember here is that approaching attractive women is scarey. There is only a very small percentage of the population who is completely confident with approaching a stranger, it is a scarey thing to do for anyone, but this is not reason to avoid it. Bravery doesn’t mean you are never scared, it means you are willing to do things despite being scared. Many men build up a fear of rejection and it becomes a paralyzing barrier. In reality rejection is not that bad. You should not be afraid of being rejected, you should be afraid of not even trying.
In bars and clubs you will often see arrogant guys spouting cheesy pick up lines which most women hate and then moving onto their next target when they are turned down. These guys will eventually be successful with finding a girl because despite their cheesy, arrogant technique they are not afraid to ask for what they want and will eventually get it. It is a simple matter of percentages. If you don’t buy a ticket you don’t win a prize.
When talking to a women you should be genuine. I have dated a lot of women and I have never met one who is not insecure about herself. Just the same as you, they struggle with self confidence, even very attractive women can be insecure and usually are. Another important thing to remember about women is that they are usually very nice. If you approach a women and she is not interested, as long as you are polite and genuine they will let you down gently. You should just respond with something charming such as “you can’t blame a guy for asking such a pretty girl out” and walk away with your pride and self confidence in tact despite a rejection. I have even done this in the past and found that the same women approaches me later in the evening.
A lot of women have certain types of men that they find attractive, I have quite a slim body type and dark hair, I often get told I look like Elijah Wood. Some women find this look attractive and some look for a far more athletic and taller guy. That same athletic, taller guy will be rejected by some of the women who find me attractive. This is an alien concept for men who’s type is usually far broader than the average woman’s type which can be extremely specific. If you are turned down you should remember this.
There are many things that all women will find attractive about a guy, sense of humor, smart appearance and above all confidence. You can portray confidence even if you don’t necessarily feel it by looking sharp and well groomed. All women like to be listened to. When talking to a women you should pay her a compliment and ask her a question which relates to that compliment. Listen to the answer and reply with genuine interest.
When paying a women a compliment is is usually best not to talk about her body this can be sleazy if not done correctly. It is far safer to comment on her clothes, this will also open up further opportunities for conversation. It’s very hard to hold a conversation about a part of her body. Women often buy new clothes or shoes for a night out so if you are lucky and compliment a new item of clothing you will immediately be in her good graces. Then you can ask for her number and contact her later for a date or offer to buy her a drink and keep talking.
The good news is that shy guys are often very good at talking to women once they get over the initial fear. They are usually more genuine and good at constructing relevant answers. It is very important to be respectful of a women but it is also very important to still be a man. No girl wants to date a guy who acts like her brother or treats her like just a friend. Be tactful and respectful at all times but don’t be afraid to kiss her when the time is right. Most women are very skilled at letting you know when they want to be kissed. Look for the signals and don’t be scared to make a move when she wants you to.